Proven Methods To Get Back Together
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Relationship Update
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Proven Methods To Get Back Together
My name is John V. Matthews. I have been married for over 20 years. I have two wonderful children and two fantastic granddaughters. My wife and I are literally best friends and have a wonderful relationship. Unfortunately I could not say this several years ago. You see at that time our marriage was on the brink of divorce and I was desperate to reconcile our relationship. That is when I started searching for books, articles, anything that would help me understand what went wrong with our relationship, the changes I needed to make to ensure a healthy marriage and a resource to guide me through the reconciliation process. The good news is that I was successful and our marriage has never been better. It is now my goal to help others successfully reconcile their relationships and get back together by providing resources, guidance and advice. Learning from the experiences of others gave me the confidence to achieve my goal to get back together with my wife. If you are in a similar situation, I truly understand the pain and confusion you are now facing. Please understand that there IS help available! You do not need to face the reconciliation process alone. I strongly encourage you to seek out resources that will help ease your pain and give you the same confidence I found to save my marriage. All my best wishes go out to you during this trying time, as well as my sincere hope that you will build a solid foundation to ensure that your relationship lasts forever.
This statement just about says it all. You have probably seen the promises; “get back together in 5 days”, get your ex back in 3 days”, “get them back in 5.75 minutes”! Now I am not saying that this is not possible, but you need to examine your relationship and what led to the relationships current state.
Something Is Just Not Right
Relationships do not go from happy and healthy to totally irreconcilable overnight. Something changed along the way. In some cases it is because you do not have enough common interests with your partner. In other cases the behavior of one or both partners has changed over time. You no longer treat each other in a way that shows how much you care. There is also the catastrophic event that caused the relationship to head directly to a breakup. One thing is for sure; something went horribly wrong along the way.
You Can Not Fix It If You Do Not Know What Broke
Have you ever taken your car in to the mechanic with some sort of bizarre electrical problem? You tell them that it makes this sound, or sometimes it does this or does not do that. Well, the mechanic starts to troubleshoot; looking for the root cause of the problem. A relationship in trouble is very similar. There IS something wrong and you must begin troubleshooting until you find the problem. After you know what really “broke” you can start to make repairs.
But I'm Sure You Want To Get Back Together Now!
Can you get back together fast? Probably so, but what have you changed? Why do you feel that the same problem will not happen again in the future? A mechanic that looks at your car and says they cannot find anything wrong can get you back on the road again very quickly, but how long until the problems resurface? Getting back together fast without addressing the root cause of the problem is a good way to end up stranded in the not too distant future.
Are You In Pain and Want Some Relief Now?
Are you desperate to save your relationship? Without a clear plan of what you are supposed to do…what happens? You say or do the wrong thing, you push the person farther away, you continue to feel depressed and became desperate to get back together.
What Have I Done?
This comment focuses on the single worst thing you could have done; infidelity. This is one of the most common catastrophic events that can lead to a breakup or divorce. While there are various levels of infidelity, they all lead to the same outcome. It does not matter if your actions were being too flirty with someone, whether you had a momentary lapse of reason or if you have been “Carrying On” with someone else for an extended period of time. The signal you are sending is that you would rather be with someone else.
But All I Want Is My Spouse or Significant Other
If you really want to get back together with your spouse or significant other, you need to address the feelings you had that led to your indiscretion, or in some cases your affair. There had to be something that caused you to look outside of your relationship to fulfill some missing desire. While you may feel that your partner’s behavior “pushed” you to behave the way you did, YOU were the one that decided to do something “very bad’. You need to reflect on what drove you to this behavior in order to begin to reconcile your relationship.
So What Caused You To Behave The Way You Did?
What your partner is NOT going to want to hear is only how sorry you are. To paraphrase a line from the movie Gone with The Wind, “You are like the thief that is not sorry you stole, but are very sorry that you are going to jail.” Empty apologizes without communicating what led to your actions will not show your partner that you have diagnosed and problems and are ready to correct them. If you do not take the time to really understand what led you to behave the way you did, how can you be sure that history will not repeat itself?
Communication with Your Partner
Many times when there has been a catastrophic event that has threatened a relationship, your partner does not want to communicate with you at all. They are dead set on ending the relationship due to the pain you have caused them. You must realize and respect this attitude. If you have truly reflected on your actions, you must realize how deeply you have hurt your partner. Before you can begin to open the lines of communication, you must reduce the level of conflict between the two of you. If your partner is adamant on ending the relationship, you must agree with them. I know, I know! You are thinking that this is not the correct approach if you want to save your relationship, but it is vital that you agree to the separation. This will reduce conflict between the two of you and allow you re-open communications without an immediate sense of hostility.No matter what the circumstances are, if you want to reconcile your relationship and get back together, you need guidance through these troubled times, guidance that will walk you through the reconciliation process.
There Is No Risk Involved
Order and download The Magic Of Making Up. If you are not back together with your ex within 60 days…or you are not absolutely delighted for any reason…You will receive a prompt and courteous refund.
My name is John V. Matthews and after my near divorce I made it my goal to help others reconcile their relationships. If you are serious about mending your relationship, can you afford to go it alone? You need a resource to walk you through the various stages of the process. Learn about Proven Methods that guide you through the reconciliation process and help you win your ex back.